Polkacide

All you didn't necessarily need to know about the members of Polkacide: Ward Abronski: Titular head of band, baritone, tenor, alto and soprano saxes, zils, whistles, percussion, vocals and harangues! Ward was born in New Jersey. Because of his stylistic adeptness and versatility, Mr. Abronski has had the opportunity to contribute his unique artistry to numerous musical productions and ensembles.

Neil "the Basa" Kaitner: Clarinet demigod & musical director of the band. Neil, aka Sikzpar Fashur, began clarinet at the age of six because it smelled good. He first studied with the great Polish maestro, Mr. Janowski, in Chicago, who at the outset was impressed with the intrinsic aptitude for the instrument demonstrated by his new pupil and was especially pleased to find that his protege came equipped with a formidably strong and remarkably well developed "natural" embouchure, rare in one so young. In fact, Maestro Janowski was so impressed by Neil's embrouchure that he was head to remark after their first meeting, "I can't believe the mouth on that kid. Freakin' amazing!"

Johnny Jack: Drums. An original Polkacider, Johnny dropped his last name and switched from trumpet to drums after extensive legal battles with his father, trumpeter Dudzo Wartniak. (He doesn't like to talk about it much). Johnny has forgotten everything taught to him by the great polka drummer Tony Williams, actually his long term memory is pretty much gone and short term is on the way.

Alistair: Bass. Alistair Shanks, aka reverend Elvister, aka Lance Boyle, aka Murder'r Bob traces his ancestry back to the "black polka Scots" of the 12th century. He is an unpleasant little bastard who tempers his unfettered disgust for humanity and universal misanthropy by collecting civil-war quilts and Margaret Keane paintings.

Roamin' Polkalanski: Trombone. A longtime member of Polkacide, Roamin' used to be the youngest and the shortest until Ed Ivey joined the band. Impor Hisky: Guitar. Impor Hisky was born in a railroad freight car heading west from Dubinski shortly after the great war (WW1). His ancestors, while fleeing the ruins of the Russian Empire, settled in Paris where his father, Arthur sold sausages from a cart on the streets of the Left Bank. His mother, Ruby, could only find work dancing cancan at the Moulin Rouge. Ed Ivey: Euphonium, Tuba. Ed Ivey was born and raised on a West Texas cotton farm. At age seven he found a battered tuba behind a pile of mule yokes in the hay barn, a discarded memento of the days when German POW's picked cotton along the Rio Grande. After ten years of intense study, Ivey moved to San Francisco and joined Polkacide. He works as a snake-thrower and knife-catcher during carnival season, and collects other people's tattoos.

Maggie: Accordion. Born of questionable ancestry, but with a distinct musical proclivity and subsequently raised a Roman Catholic, composer and accordionist Maggie considers herself lucky to be alive. She survived childhood years listening to jazz LPs.

Maggie: Accordion. Born of questionable ancestry, but with a distinct musical proclivity and subsequently raised a Roman Catholic, composer and accordionist, Maggie considers herself lucky to be alive.